Chapter one; oh what a party!

Welcome to my ISBI – this is definitely my favorite style of challenge, and I am super pumped to get started on it. It will be interesting because a) stupidity annoys me and b) I am used to being a super control freak LOL.

WARNING;

This blog will have some rated stuff. Consider yourself warned, dear reader. I don’t mean to offend anyone.. my humor is just a bit twisted. ;D

ratedr

Anyho, here we go! I am excited. First onto our founder.

1

So we need a house and BAM here it is. I feel like a wizard. The Gandalf of creation. It kind of looked like it had a pond in the back of the lot and I was super jazzed until I realized that the pond wasn’t on the property.

Oh well. We have a house, and it’s cute, right? Right.

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It also left us kinda broke but that must mean that it has a fabulous interior!

2

And here is the man himself; Brad Pepper. I randomized his name and oh boy was it tempting to call him Brad Pitt. But I couldn’t do it to Brad Pitt.

Brad: Hey! I heard that.

Yeah well you don’t know who Brad Pitt is, so…

Brad: True.

4

Since I am kinda senile (and forgot what I randomly rolled lol) when I did his traits and all that good stuff, I actually thought I should screen it just in case. I’m glad I did.

The two things I picked was his aspiration thing, which is soulmate. I kinda had to due to the title of this challenge, and I didn’t really want him to go running around and hump every female’s leg, because that shit’s exhausting, so I went with soul mate out of the two options.  Later down the line with other offspring though, mwahahhaha…

I also picked Romantic.

He is romantic and I randomly rolled gloomy. Joy and happiness.

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Brad: Okay boring.

Your face is boring.

Brad: You kinda suck at smack talking.

Uh..let’s just move on with the show. We should check out your palace!

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Okay, I lied. It doesn’t have a fantastic interior. In fact.. it’s kinda barren.

Brad: It’s dark in here. We didn’t pay the electricity bill? ALREADY?!

No no. We did it didn’t come yet. We just couldn’t afford a lamp.

Brad: …. I am already broke?

money

Uh yeah. LOL

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Hey where are you going?

Brad: ….

I didn’t notice the door. I admit I kind of have the attention span of a squirrel. I was honestly curious to see where it would lead since I didn’t build this house myself.

8

Oh LOOK! We haz a pool. Brad can do something besides reading books.

That’s right! I got him a book shelf thingie since he has the book trait. I did something right.

9

Brad: It’s cold :[

Who cares?? We have a POOL. It’s awesome!

Brad: But it’s small, I can reach the bottom with my feet.

This is where he was pouting the entire time he was swimming. Thank you gloomy trait.

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While he is pouting, we should spent the rest of that 2k on stuffs.

Like that bookshelf I already promised. Okay I lied earlier – I didn’t buy it YET. But I am now, okay? Here it is.

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Kitchen huzzah! Okay so we kind of miss a few essential things but at least we don’t have to mooch of the neighbors or dig through the trash. Although that would be kinda funny.

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And the bedroom. With a bed and three windows. Snazzy. And look who’s done swimming, (and pouting hopefully.)

Brad: This room is kinda lame.

So much for done pouting. But we don’t care, so moving on!

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This is when I spy two ladies by the pond that I previously thought belonged to the lot. For some reason they are randomly fishing behind our house, but I am not complaining. It’s nice to see the womenfolk coming to Brad instead of having to desperately chase them down.

Lets send Brad over.

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I command him over because I have dat Gandalf power!

You had to show up wearing swimming trunks? -.-

Brad: Dun matter. Ladies dig a guy with a bare chest.

Uhm. Okay.

Brad: Hey foxy lady. Sup?

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She doesn’t look too happy to be honest.

Brad: No no. That’s a face of someone who digs what she sees.

Mhm.

Brad: Anyway! What do you think of this bod? Like what you see, eh eh?

17

Leather chick: Yeah.. I don’t think so.

Brad: Sure you do.

No, I actually think she doesn’t.

Brad: Pfft.. she’s just playing hard to get.

Leather chick: … who are you talking to, dude?

Brad: Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that.

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Leather chick: You know what? You are bugging me, your pick up lines are so lame that I can’t even call them pick up lines. Get lost. I got fish to catch.

Brad: Hey, that’s not nice.

She kinda has a point. You need to work on the whole pick up thing.

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Brad: You don’t deserve this hot stuff anyway. Clearly you must be blind!

Yeah that’s probably it.

Brad: Shut up.

Leather chick: Who the hell are you talking to?!

See now she thinks you lost your mind.

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This is where she is ignoring him and decides to do some fishing again.

Well done, Brad. Well done. Brad Pitt would be sad if I gave you his name.

Lets check out the other girl instead.

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Or not…? I think she might be a he? Or? We need a she to make babies!

Is she a he? Who knows.

Person with braids: GTFO you’re blocking my fish.

Right.

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But as Brad just stands there in all of his glory, I look around – and lookie lookie. A cute girl – with a cake. Outside of Brad’s house. What’s up with all the girls showing up around his place? Not that I am complaning.

C’mon Brad!

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And she’s cute!

Cake girl: Who?

Uh. You?

Girl girl: Oh me. Yay!

Hmm.. maybe not the brightest crayon in the box. But neither is Brad LOL

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Brad: Hello hello sweetpea. Is that cake for me? Of course it- Ohhhhh check that out.

Hmm?

Brad: Nine o’clock. Outside my door.

Oh yeah. But you got the redhead with the cake. Talk to her. Don’t be rude.

Brad: *stare* Hm what?

TALK TO CAKE GIRL. DON’T BE AN ASS!

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Snow-white: Eh. I am totally worth the attention. He should drop that girl.

It’s not like he’s dating her.. or you.

Snow-white: Pfft. Well then, I’m leaving.

Fine by me because I got the feeling that you’re high maintenance anyway – and that just doesn’t work in this challenge. Though you’d make pretty babies.

Snow-white: Duh. Of course I would.

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Alright kid, back to you and cake girl.

Brad: Hmmm….?

CAKE GIRL!

Brad: But I want to talk to Snow-white.

No you don’t.

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But he did.. sigh.

Brad: Hey you! Wait up.

Cake girl: Who me?

No! You are already there. Like right in front of him. -.-

Cake girl: Oh yeah.. teeeheeee. Silly me.

struggle.gif

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Mustache man: Eyyhhh.. nice swimming trunks.

Brad: I know right?!

Just.. no.

Cake girl: So about this cake – anyone want a bite?

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Snow-white: *stomps off* Hmph.

Yeah that’s right. Just keep on walking.

Snow-white: Bite me.

Charming.

Brad: No wait!! Come back!!

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No, Brad.. bad.

Brad: But look how pretty she is.. heeeh heeeh.

Cake girl: Oh look.. birds. *stares off in the distance*

This gathering is pure win all around.

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Cake girl: So where did those birds go? Oh wait. I think they’re balloons.. or airplanes. Yeah, I think airplanes.

Right. At least she’s cute? That’s always something.

Cake girl: Definitely airplanes. Yup.

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Snow-white: So listen here, girl with lame ribbon cake, why don’t you just walk down this street while I talk to this loser – err, guy here?

Cake girl: Wha…?

Snow-white: He has an awesome house! I could totally live there and be the ruler of the home. So you need to, like, get lost. You’re stinking up the place.

Brad.. I really don’t think you should talk to this girl anymore. -.-

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Snow-white: Shaddap. I do as I want.

You eh went into his house?

Snow-white: I DO AS I WANT, REMEMBER?!

I guess she’ll notice the sad condition of interior any moment anyway lol…. and who’s the random dude in the back of the picture?!

Random guy: Don’t mind me. Just staring at the wall.

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And for some reason another guy showed up. I guess it’s some kind of welcoming ‘party’?

Snow-white: Why is she getting hugs?! That makes me feel so sad and lonely.. wahhhhhh!

Maybe if you were less of a pain that wouldn’t be an issue?

 

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Brad: Heeeh heeeeh I’ll hug you.

No you won’t.

Brad: Yes I will.

But no you won’t. I will cancel your action.

Brad: I hate my life.

I can’t say it’s too enjoyable for me either. GET THESE PEOPLE OUT AND GET A JOB!

Snow-white: Hug me. *fake sniffles*

No. Just no.

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Random dude #2: I’ll just stand right here.

You’re blocking my camera.

Random dude #2: Don’t really care.

Oh wow. You and Snow-white are a match in heaven. Why don’t you take her home?

Snow-white: Not unless he has a house.

Random dude #2: I don’t lolz. Why do you think I’m here in this loser house with no furniture or light bulb?

40

Brad: I’m still here!

That’s good.. since you are the only one who actually belongs in the house!

Cake girl: Who me?

NO!

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I guess Snow-white’s name is Antonia. I found that out while checking out his wants.. and apparently Brad wants to talk shit about the neighbors. Nice.

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Random guy: Hey I’m right here you know. That’s rude.

I know. I don’t know what to say. Brad’s a lost case.

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Speaking of Brad, the boy needs a job so I have him get on his phone to pick one. I go with the writing thing since he’s into books n stuff. Not that we have a computer, but details.

Brad: Author? That sounds like work..

Well work is generally that – it’s why it’s called work, dumbass.

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I wanted to send him to the library to work on his writing skills but wat da fuq?! I don’t want this social event… I didn’t ask for it.

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So I just impatiently waited while watching the idiot squad finish up their thing.. put some pants on Brad and FINALLY – library time.

Isn’t it awesome? I didn’t build it either because I suck major ass at building. I was never a lego wizz.. just saying.

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And there’s light inside! And only guys, which is great because there’s no distractions from the ladies.

Brad is being a good boy and actually does his thing. You know, writing and shit.

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And guess who’s here? You got it! Guy/girl with the braids.

Person with braids: Go away. I’m busy.

Fine. Don’t have to ask me twice.

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I kind of decided that it was a dude anyway. Until I saw this… isn’t that boobs on the guy? I mean girl? It must be a girl. Right?

Right.

Brad: Humdidum.. never mind me. I am just writing about cheese and world domination.

Okay. You do that.

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Oh look.. there actually IS a girl in here.

Chess woman: Go away or I’ll cut you.

… right.

How we ever will find a gud woman for Brad, I don’t know.

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Okay I decided. It’s a guy. Look at the hands. Only a guy has hands like that. And I checked his name hurr hurr.

Guy with braids: Why does it matter to you? Happy now?

Well.. it’s boring to watch someone type for hours, okay?! I had to have something to do. Like checking your name.

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And that’s about all I can stand of the library so home we go. Brad’s getting hungry anyway and we all know what moody shit he can be.

Since the kitchen rocks, we have to eat salad.

Brad: I like salad :]

That’s good since you’ll be eating it a lot LOL

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Brad: Owwww owwww owwww..

What?

Brad: I cut my finger :[

What are you? Like 5?

Brad: But it hurts.

Don’t be a baby.

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Brad: Fine. I don’t like you anymore.

I’m okay with that, actually. Although… you might uh want to see where you’re pouring that oil, though.

Brad: I don’t care.

You will once you realize that you just poured the whole bottle over the salad.

Brad: You’re not the boss of me.

Well, I kinda am.. Bwahahahaa.

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Because that will make your salad taste better.

Brad: Too much oil in it. Need some substance.

Ew.. just ew. And check the color of that.. soup/salad/thing. It actually looked super gross once it was on the plate. Cooking 0/10.

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At least he’s doing dishes.. in the bathroom sink because we haz no more money left.

Brad: Just.. you know what? I have a job now and I am going there tomorrow and I will make the big bucks and then you can just stfu!

Okay. Let’s make ‘the big bucks.’ *snicker snicker* I mean, of course you will. As a lousy-bottom of the barrel employee. Why wouldn’t they pay you a fortune? Makes totes sense.

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And with that we send Brad to bed. So that he can be fresh and ready for tomorrow’s adventure. Hopefully that mean we can buy a light bulb. And meet a normal girl. Please let there be at least ONE normal girl in this city.

Score: Zero.. because absolutely nothing worth mentioning happened.

 

 

4 thoughts on “Chapter one; oh what a party!

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